Kaleidoscope Heart

As much as I would like to say I find myself 14,219 km away from where I last wrote a blog post, I am still very much in the same locale…

I quit my full-time job at KGH back in the first week of January, and stuck around in Kingston for the next few weeks basking in the glow of my new title of “funemployed”. I headed back to Ottawa at the end of January, leaving my apartment and my adopted title of  a Kingstonian behind. I still feel a tightness in my chest thinking about it… My last night I spent sleeping on my mattress that I had jammed-up in front of the fireplace, my memories literally echoing about in the bareness of my apartment…

Don’t get me wrong funemployment has been mostly great. No commitments to anyone or anything. I am 100% The Boss (a job title that I will likely never ever actually be designated in any other shape or form for the extent of my REAL career). But when you don’t have to work, it gets pretty damn expensive when you fill up your time visiting friends and family- eating, drinking, and being merry.

When I had moved back home, I had full intentions of having all my paperwork in order and being off to New Zealand come mid- to end of February.

It’s almost the middle of March and I am still without any departure date…

The hard lesson I learned here is that nothing involving paperwork goes smoothly or quickly or according to plan… I got my official email on February 16 from the NCNZ (Nursing Council of New Zealand) that I was now approved as nurse in NZ! New Zealand almost seemed on the visible horizon, now I could apply for my visa!

Amid some confusion as to what documents I needed to apply for my visa, I didn’t submit my visa until end of February. Come March 7, Immigration New Zealand was asking for further documents that weren’t on the original list of necessary documents. So scan those, condense them into a single PDF, and send them off…

I have always considered myself a patient person, maybe one of my greatest virtues, but at this point in time I am at wit’s end… At the risk of sounding rude to every kind family member or friend or even curious stranger who has asked me how things are coming along with NZ preparations, I have to restrain myself from having an absolute meltdown every time I have to explain what is happening. I am so thankful to have so many people in my life who are here to help support me, but I don’t think it’s possible to really explain to people how exhausting this has all been for me. I have been working on this for over a year now, and apparently I jumped the gun too soon, making a grand face plant right in front of the finish line…

My first manager offered me a casual position back on the Ortho floor, so I have been going back and forth between Kingston a few times in the past month or so, pulling my fun scrubs out of their early retirement. My amazing friends (two very special angels in particular) have so graciously hosted me on these occasions, and every time I am back in Kingston it feels as if I never left. I love seeing everyone again, resuming back at our old haunts. I probably couldn’t count the number of perplexed faces that have seen me and asked (what has become my trademark tagline)- “You haven’t left yet?!” At this point in time I wish I hadn’t left… I should of kept working for another month, kept my apartment for another month, stayed in Kingston for another month.

Home life has been a special treat, it’s the longest I have spent at home since I graduated from high school in 2009. My parents have probably had to take a loan out to pay for my voracious appetite. Falling back into old home traditions and habits was easy. My family, as always, has been the greatest star in my life and after spending all this time at home it is going to be an especially difficult farewell…

I continue to feel like I am some sort of limbo state, waiting for something that never seems to be coming… Waiting, waiting, waiting. Who knew moving to another country would be such hard work? *said in my finest sarcasm*

PS. 100% aware that this post comes across as very Negative Nancy. Just wanted to give a special thanks to soooo many people (all of you people who keep asking me for updates, who I so very viciously ripped a strip off of above…) for helping me through all of us this. I am nothing without all the amazing people in my life.